During conversations with my co-founders, whenever I hear something that I disagree with, I convey it to them. I make an effort to be polite when expressing my disagreement.
But what if I don’t convey it and act as if there is no disagreement? It’s a lie, or the truth hidden.
If you never express your disagreement and instead decide to reach a compromise where your opinions are suppressed, from then on, you are lying, and you lose significance.
Example: Suppose you and I are discussing something, and I propose an opinion that benefits me. You don’t agree with me but choose to suppress your opinion and follow my lead. Now, I start to believe that we are on the same page when, in reality, we are not. If this pattern continues, with you always agreeing with me despite your disagreement, eventually, you become irrelevant because you never assert yourself. Here, I am the only relevant person.
A conversation gains meaning when all participants contribute. When you express your disagreement, it clarifies your thoughts and helps others understand your perspective.
I see unexpressed disagreement as small lies. If this behaviour persists, it becomes a significant lie that you must believe every day.
Here are some examples of how we can politely express disagreement:
- “Hmm… I don’t really agree with what you just said; I think _______ would be better.”
- “I respect your ideas, but I disagree with this part.”
- “Are you certain about this? I have a different opinion, and I think we should discuss it further.”
- “I’m not entirely convinced about this, but perhaps we could give it a try.”
Inspired from the events that occurred in my career and from the healthy arguments and disagreements me and my co-founders had.
Before and after any heated conversations, disagreements or arguments, I always convey that we fought for what’s best for the company, we are not arguing for our personal egos.